Tori's Stories

I made a cake today. It wasn’t the most complicated cake I’ve made, but it was the fanciest.   It was for a birthday, but the guest of honor was missing.   I didn’t get to come out of my room this morning to find him and tell him Happy Birthday while giving a big hug and a kiss. He didn’t get to open any gifts.   He was gone. He is no longer mine.   Jeffter should have turned 8 today. So crazy the tiny malnourished three year old placed in my care would be that old—Instead, he is forever seven.   He’s been gone for 9 and a half months already. Somedays it feels like it has been years and I have to think really hard about how his smile looked, his laugh sounded, and how he felt in my arms. Other days it seems like just the other day as all the memories come flooding through my mind. As I thought about how I wanted to remember him I mostly just felt like smashing cake.   Its not fair that he isn’t still here. Its not fair that he never got to know a forever family on this earth. Its not

Dear Little One, It's here. The day we have been praying for since we met you. Tomorrow your parents arrive and you will begin your new life with them. We've talked about what will happen and I feel like you are as prepared as you can be, but you really don't know what it will be like. We will miss you so much here. It's so hard to put you to bed knowing this will be one of the last times I get to be the one who does this. I cherish this so much and will hold you a little longer tonight. Okay, I'll hold you until you fall asleep because I know so soon I'll hug you for the last time for who knows how long. I'm so excited for you, really. Ecstatic. I know your parents love you dearly. I know your siblings are so eager to get you home. I know you have a room and so many new toys and clothes waiting for you. I know this is God's redemption plan for your life. I know this family is the perfect one for you. These next few days will be hard. We will probably al