Showing posts from 2016

Bedside Vigil

It was the middle of a humid April night when I reached down, touched K’s head, and felt the warmth on my hand. Yep, his fever was back. I kneeled at his bedside, and tried to figure out the right amount of Tylenol to give him at a time so he would keep it all down in between dramatic coughs. This wasn’t new; it had been going on for a couple of weeks. 
In that moment, I knew the right thing to do was to ask God to heal his little body. Everything I had ever been taught had told me to do that. Isn’t that what a good Christian is supposed to do?
But I couldn’t. 
I stayed at his bedside, fighting back tears, and jumping to dramatic conclusions. Sometimes when we have prayed for God’s healing, he made the child completely whole and took them to go live with him. I didn’t want that answer. I couldn’t put this child in God’s hands. I wanted my own outcome. I wanted to be able to hold him in my arms for days and months and years to come. I wanted to be able to see the way he smiles with his wh…

Worth It All

I’ve written many blogs in my head and even began some on paper lately.But putting my thoughts into words has been hard lately.

Instead, tonight I was reminded of something else that needs shared.
The happy moments. The moments that make me smile more than I have all day. The moments that make everything worth it. The moments that remind me why I do what I do.
Sometimes bedtimes are really rough. I might get scratched in the face or my glasses might be on the verge of breaking for the 20th time that day. Many times my hair gets pulled or I get bit.
Other times, like tonight as I sang bedtime songs we have a moment of calm. I was holding one of my children who often does all of the above and she began to sing along. Hearing her sing about Jesus’ love instead of what happens on other nights, makes it all worth it.
When we don’t know if a child will ever smile and she laughs at 2 years old, it makes it all worth it.
When I see a picture of one of my children as a new admit that remind…

What's next?

Remember this post

It was all about my newest adventure, living in the Promise House. Before I moved in, we knew a couple would be returning to COTP to be the long term house parents of this space in early 2016. I was just filling in in the interim. Well, its early 2016 and they will be arriving on Monday.

 I'm so excited for the kids to have someone in their house who can think up assistive devices and make them out out whatever he can find. I've come up with ideas, but do not know how to make them. I'm really glad these kids are going to have a nurse caring for their day to day needs who can see their medical needs I may passover and who will advocate fiercely for them to get the care they need. I know Wilson and Sheila will love them dearly.

I have so enjoyed living in the Promise House and getting to know these kids and nannies more over the last nine months. It has been so great to watch them grow, to care f…