Tori's Stories

6-29-2022 Dear Jeffter, One year, ten months, and five days you have been gone. I miss you. It’s been almost two years and I still have trouble wrapping my head around it. I miss your big smile and cheerful laughter. I miss cuddling with you and reading books. I miss watching your fevers and doing everything we could to keep them down. I miss drawing up so many different medicines to do what I could to help you. I miss troubleshooting how much, how often, and what we could feed you. I miss fighting with the feeding pump. I miss pushing two chairs to school to take you and Mathilde there. I miss those times when you were crying and we didn’t really know what was wrong and I crawled in your bed and held you until you went to sleep in some sort of awkward position you felt comfortable in. I miss giving you head rubs. I miss the way your eyes lit up when you were truly happy. I miss your hugs. I miss getting frustrated by the lack of answers as we sought to help you. I miss the hours upon

Good Friday Words that have been familiar to me for all of my life.   Words that have meant different things to me as I’ve passed through life.   Jesus died.   He died for me.   He died for you.   Our sins put him on the cross.   He willingly and lovingly allowed himself to hang there. Being ridiculed, spat at, and in unimaginable pain.   He suffered.   All because he loves us.   When I was younger, I didn’t really focus on how much of a sacrifice that was because I knew he came back to life three days later. I never thought about what a sacrifice God gave us by sending his son who he loved so much to do this for us.   My boys (Keven and Jeffter) in no way suffered as much as Jesus did, but the last monthish of their lives they really did suffer. Their bodies rejected any nourishment they were given, breathing was a struggle, and they both basically just wasted away little by little until their bodies couldn’t even handle a heart beating.   There is nothing that would ever make me choo