First Birthday in Heaven
I made a cake today. It wasn’t the most complicated cake I’ve made, but it was the fanciest. It was for a birthday, but the guest of honor was missing. I didn’t get to come out of my room this morning to find him and tell him Happy Birthday while giving a big hug and a kiss. He didn’t get to open any gifts. He was gone. He is no longer mine. Jeffter should have turned 8 today. So crazy the tiny malnourished three year old placed in my care would be that old—Instead, he is forever seven. He’s been gone for 9 and a half months already. Somedays it feels like it has been years and I have to think really hard about how his smile looked, his laugh sounded, and how he felt in my arms. Other days it seems like just the other day as all the memories come flooding through my mind. As I thought about how I wanted to remember him I mostly just felt like smashing cake. Its not fair that he isn’t still here. Its not fair that he never got to know a forever family on this earth. Its not