Transitioning
The weeks and day coming up to my flight out of Haiti were emotionally filled. I did not want to leave. Yes, I was very excited to see friends and family, but I did not want to leave my home.
The night before I left I got advice from a wise woman telling me to think of it as my mission has changed for the next 12 days. People in America need ministered to more than the people of Haiti. That is so true. The people of Haiti may lack material things and money, but American's lack joy, contentment, and letting God be their whole life and not just a part of it.I needed that advice. When teams come down and are sad to go home I tell them God has placed them where He wants them at this exact moment in their lives and they should take this experience and use it to help with the mission where they are placed. I didn't take my advice because I know God has placed me in Haiti and not in America. But could a 12 day trip to the states be part of His mission for my life? Of course it can. The people I sit next to on the planes, the people I see in the store, my family and friends I get to spend time with, and the opportunities I have to share about what God is doing in Haiti are all places/ways I can be showing God's love. You never know what a simple smile or "Hi, how are you?" can do for someone. Maybe that person who is taking up the entire armrest on the plane next to you needs to hear the truth about God, maybe they just need a little bit of love that day, maybe they could even be that person for you. Maybe the clerk wherever you may be checking out at is having a horrible day and needs a smile, thank you, and have a nice day. You never know what people may need as you pass them during your normal day to day life.
Well, I flew into JFK. My flight was 4 1/2 hours so we got dinner on the plane. I thought about this food I had in front of me and the amount I paid for the flight and then thought of all the people who cannot get out of the country or may not have any food that night. I ate the food, because I've learned that I should be thankful for the blessings I have. I knew not eating that food would not feed a child. I had a good conversation with a Japanese guy sitting next to me, nothing too in depth, but that is okay, not every conversation will be a life changing one.
'3seams' made me stay in a hotel that night. I paid so much for that hotel (it was the cheapest, but I was in NYC). I checked in and was walking down the hall to my room. I passed by door upon door upon door to get to my room. How amazing it would be to let the people of Haiti stay in these hotels for just one night? Let them experience warm showers, TV, clean drinking water, a comfy bed, air conditioning etc. It was about 10:00 by the time I got in and went to sleep almost right away. I had no desire to turn on the 42" plasma screen TV that sat in front of the bed, I had to turn the air down because I was cold, it was hard to be thankful for something that is so out of reach for so many people. I got up the next morning and took a quick shower. The warm water was nice, but I didn't have a lot of time to enjoy it because I had to catch the shuttle to get to the airport. I was now back on a time schedule. I've really enjoyed time being something that everyone has enough of. Haitians don't get wrapped up in things starting on time, there is always time to stop and talk to someone, traffic could hold you up and while horns are honking-road rage doesn't happen. Someone used the phrase "Americans have the watches but Haitians have the time". So true.
At the airport where I hurried up to wait I began people watching. This is something I enjoy doing anyway, but I looked at it with a new lens. Probably a jaded lens, but a new one nonetheless. I saw so many people in such a hurry to catch a flight, it isn't very often that you see people in Haiti in a hurry- you adjust to life (its so much easier than trying to make life adjust to you). I saw some girls my age dressed all cute probably heading out on Spring Break, I saw whole families going places, I heard girls talking to their dad about when they go on trips with their mom (like this happens a lot, I rode in an airplane for the first time when I was 16 and that was only because someone else paid for it), I saw a little boy so excited to fly that he told everyone he passed that he was getting on an airplane. I wondered about these people. I wondered if they were on business trips, pleasure trips, family vacations, if they were headed home to see a sick relative or heading to a funeral, I wondered where they were coming from and where they were headed. I wondered if they had ever considered taking a trip to Haiti or somewhere like it instead of their vacation or spring break trip. I couldn't get past the options available for food in the airport alone. Haiti has sure changed me.
I landed in Detroit walked through the airport, met my sister-in-law, mom and nephew and after hugs we were on the road again. The roads were long and smooth. The scenery was boring and every exit had a sign with six or seven different fast food places to stop and eat at. Before, those signs weren't anything that I would had taken a second look at (unless I was hungry and then it would have been to see where I wanted to eat). So many big buildings, so many cars (staying in their own lanes), so many places to stop and use the bathroom, so many choices--America is a land of choice, what if we didn't have so many choices?
We got back to my parents house, picked up my dad and went to Bob Evans for lunch. I was really really excited to have a Wildfire Chicken Salad, but that didn't even taste as good as I was anticipating. Yes, it was good and I loved having a whole heap of green vegetables, but it wasn't the same. Later that day my sister-in-law and I drove to their house in Indiana where I got to spend the weekend. The next day we went to Kokomo to go shopping. I had a few things on my list to get (nicer clothes for church and a skirt or two more to wear to Mother Theresa's) and got those with only a little bit of guilt. Walking through the mall with so many choices right there at the tip of my fingers was weird, but not as hard as I had anticipated.
Sunday morning I was able to speak about Haiti at the church my brother is a youth pastor at. Sitting through service was hard. I wanted to be at Grace Village with a room full of kids singing their little hearts out to God in both English and Creole. I wanted kids to walk up to me and grab my hand, ask me to sit next to them, or let me love on them. I missed greeting each one of the kids with hugs. Then it came my time to share, seeing the pictures again and telling the stories only made me want to be back more. I got to hang out with a five year old that day, the weather was warm enough for flip flops and shorts, and on the radio on the way home I heard the song "Glory to God" which is one we sing almost every Sunday. Thank you God for giving me little tidbits of Haiti :)
Monday I went to Findlay to pick up a couple things at Wal*Mart, visit with my grandparents, and meet up with a friend for dinner. My dad needed his prescription picked up at Wally World and so I thought I'd walk the store to see if I knew anyone rather than just picking it up and leaving. A few steps into the store I began to notice the amount of Easter candy present. Like three isles full and a few middle of the isle displays! Really? Is America that much of consumers? In a town that isn't even big enough to have its own Starbucks that has two other stores as big as this one and many others that are a little smaller probably all with similar sized displays--do we really need all that candy? As a kid I got excited, candy was a treat. It wasn't something that was ever expected. I have never had an Easter basket in my life and I survived. Yes, its nice to share candy (and I intend to go the day after Easter to pick some of this up to take to my Haitian friends--and keep some for me as well) but that much all at once?
I quickly passed those and began to look in kids clothes for things on clearance to take to Grace Village. I had a couple things in my hand, but eventually put them back down. Then I looked in woman's clothes and found a couple of things I could really use, but eventually put them back because I didn't really need them. I was picking these up and intended to buy them just because I could-plain and simple. How can my mindset go so easily from walking the marketplace in downtown PAP on Thursday morning to wanting to buy everything in sight Saturday afternoon? Having choices, having opportunities, having abilities--it does it to you. We really can get by without it, but because we can have it we get it or convince ourselves we "need" it. I walked out of the store with my dad's medicine and somethings I "needed". But do I really need facewash, conditioner, and hair ties. I could live my life without them, but being able to get them--they have been put in the necessity category in my mind. Many Haitians (and American's at that) have to live without these because they don't have money and survive just fine.
I left Walmart and went to Dietsch's and got some ice cream for the same price I could buy a meal on the street (these meals could feed me for two meals because they give you so much food). I had been anticipating this ice cream (amazingness in a cup) ever since I booked my plane tickets home, but again it didn't taste as good as I had anticipated. Could my $3.25 have been spent better elsewhere? Yes, I was thankful for my ice cream, but it sure wasn't something I needed.
I then got to spend time with my incredible grandparents and later with a great group of ladies. Sometimes my mind goes from one extreme to the other and I have a hard time finding a place in the middle. I find myself wanting everything or deciding I need nothing. There has to be a place in between...
I've also discovered I can't choose things like food or what I want to do because my meal choices are laid out for me (my breakfast is the same every morning and my dinner is the same four or five things over and over again). My days off are more eventful than the days I work because I'm able to go with the teams, but when I do that, I just go along and do whatever they do. Its so much fun to just go with the flow and do whatever happens or comes my way--people in the states get frustrated with me when I don't want to make decisions, I like doing what other people like to do.
I'm trying to make my mission here in the states for 12 days successful, but its hard. I'm missing everything about Haiti, the people of Haiti, and all my experiences I get to do on an almost weekly basis.
The night before I left I got advice from a wise woman telling me to think of it as my mission has changed for the next 12 days. People in America need ministered to more than the people of Haiti. That is so true. The people of Haiti may lack material things and money, but American's lack joy, contentment, and letting God be their whole life and not just a part of it.I needed that advice. When teams come down and are sad to go home I tell them God has placed them where He wants them at this exact moment in their lives and they should take this experience and use it to help with the mission where they are placed. I didn't take my advice because I know God has placed me in Haiti and not in America. But could a 12 day trip to the states be part of His mission for my life? Of course it can. The people I sit next to on the planes, the people I see in the store, my family and friends I get to spend time with, and the opportunities I have to share about what God is doing in Haiti are all places/ways I can be showing God's love. You never know what a simple smile or "Hi, how are you?" can do for someone. Maybe that person who is taking up the entire armrest on the plane next to you needs to hear the truth about God, maybe they just need a little bit of love that day, maybe they could even be that person for you. Maybe the clerk wherever you may be checking out at is having a horrible day and needs a smile, thank you, and have a nice day. You never know what people may need as you pass them during your normal day to day life.
Well, I flew into JFK. My flight was 4 1/2 hours so we got dinner on the plane. I thought about this food I had in front of me and the amount I paid for the flight and then thought of all the people who cannot get out of the country or may not have any food that night. I ate the food, because I've learned that I should be thankful for the blessings I have. I knew not eating that food would not feed a child. I had a good conversation with a Japanese guy sitting next to me, nothing too in depth, but that is okay, not every conversation will be a life changing one.
'3seams' made me stay in a hotel that night. I paid so much for that hotel (it was the cheapest, but I was in NYC). I checked in and was walking down the hall to my room. I passed by door upon door upon door to get to my room. How amazing it would be to let the people of Haiti stay in these hotels for just one night? Let them experience warm showers, TV, clean drinking water, a comfy bed, air conditioning etc. It was about 10:00 by the time I got in and went to sleep almost right away. I had no desire to turn on the 42" plasma screen TV that sat in front of the bed, I had to turn the air down because I was cold, it was hard to be thankful for something that is so out of reach for so many people. I got up the next morning and took a quick shower. The warm water was nice, but I didn't have a lot of time to enjoy it because I had to catch the shuttle to get to the airport. I was now back on a time schedule. I've really enjoyed time being something that everyone has enough of. Haitians don't get wrapped up in things starting on time, there is always time to stop and talk to someone, traffic could hold you up and while horns are honking-road rage doesn't happen. Someone used the phrase "Americans have the watches but Haitians have the time". So true.
At the airport where I hurried up to wait I began people watching. This is something I enjoy doing anyway, but I looked at it with a new lens. Probably a jaded lens, but a new one nonetheless. I saw so many people in such a hurry to catch a flight, it isn't very often that you see people in Haiti in a hurry- you adjust to life (its so much easier than trying to make life adjust to you). I saw some girls my age dressed all cute probably heading out on Spring Break, I saw whole families going places, I heard girls talking to their dad about when they go on trips with their mom (like this happens a lot, I rode in an airplane for the first time when I was 16 and that was only because someone else paid for it), I saw a little boy so excited to fly that he told everyone he passed that he was getting on an airplane. I wondered about these people. I wondered if they were on business trips, pleasure trips, family vacations, if they were headed home to see a sick relative or heading to a funeral, I wondered where they were coming from and where they were headed. I wondered if they had ever considered taking a trip to Haiti or somewhere like it instead of their vacation or spring break trip. I couldn't get past the options available for food in the airport alone. Haiti has sure changed me.
I landed in Detroit walked through the airport, met my sister-in-law, mom and nephew and after hugs we were on the road again. The roads were long and smooth. The scenery was boring and every exit had a sign with six or seven different fast food places to stop and eat at. Before, those signs weren't anything that I would had taken a second look at (unless I was hungry and then it would have been to see where I wanted to eat). So many big buildings, so many cars (staying in their own lanes), so many places to stop and use the bathroom, so many choices--America is a land of choice, what if we didn't have so many choices?
We got back to my parents house, picked up my dad and went to Bob Evans for lunch. I was really really excited to have a Wildfire Chicken Salad, but that didn't even taste as good as I was anticipating. Yes, it was good and I loved having a whole heap of green vegetables, but it wasn't the same. Later that day my sister-in-law and I drove to their house in Indiana where I got to spend the weekend. The next day we went to Kokomo to go shopping. I had a few things on my list to get (nicer clothes for church and a skirt or two more to wear to Mother Theresa's) and got those with only a little bit of guilt. Walking through the mall with so many choices right there at the tip of my fingers was weird, but not as hard as I had anticipated.
Sunday morning I was able to speak about Haiti at the church my brother is a youth pastor at. Sitting through service was hard. I wanted to be at Grace Village with a room full of kids singing their little hearts out to God in both English and Creole. I wanted kids to walk up to me and grab my hand, ask me to sit next to them, or let me love on them. I missed greeting each one of the kids with hugs. Then it came my time to share, seeing the pictures again and telling the stories only made me want to be back more. I got to hang out with a five year old that day, the weather was warm enough for flip flops and shorts, and on the radio on the way home I heard the song "Glory to God" which is one we sing almost every Sunday. Thank you God for giving me little tidbits of Haiti :)
Monday I went to Findlay to pick up a couple things at Wal*Mart, visit with my grandparents, and meet up with a friend for dinner. My dad needed his prescription picked up at Wally World and so I thought I'd walk the store to see if I knew anyone rather than just picking it up and leaving. A few steps into the store I began to notice the amount of Easter candy present. Like three isles full and a few middle of the isle displays! Really? Is America that much of consumers? In a town that isn't even big enough to have its own Starbucks that has two other stores as big as this one and many others that are a little smaller probably all with similar sized displays--do we really need all that candy? As a kid I got excited, candy was a treat. It wasn't something that was ever expected. I have never had an Easter basket in my life and I survived. Yes, its nice to share candy (and I intend to go the day after Easter to pick some of this up to take to my Haitian friends--and keep some for me as well) but that much all at once?
I quickly passed those and began to look in kids clothes for things on clearance to take to Grace Village. I had a couple things in my hand, but eventually put them back down. Then I looked in woman's clothes and found a couple of things I could really use, but eventually put them back because I didn't really need them. I was picking these up and intended to buy them just because I could-plain and simple. How can my mindset go so easily from walking the marketplace in downtown PAP on Thursday morning to wanting to buy everything in sight Saturday afternoon? Having choices, having opportunities, having abilities--it does it to you. We really can get by without it, but because we can have it we get it or convince ourselves we "need" it. I walked out of the store with my dad's medicine and somethings I "needed". But do I really need facewash, conditioner, and hair ties. I could live my life without them, but being able to get them--they have been put in the necessity category in my mind. Many Haitians (and American's at that) have to live without these because they don't have money and survive just fine.
I left Walmart and went to Dietsch's and got some ice cream for the same price I could buy a meal on the street (these meals could feed me for two meals because they give you so much food). I had been anticipating this ice cream (amazingness in a cup) ever since I booked my plane tickets home, but again it didn't taste as good as I had anticipated. Could my $3.25 have been spent better elsewhere? Yes, I was thankful for my ice cream, but it sure wasn't something I needed.
I then got to spend time with my incredible grandparents and later with a great group of ladies. Sometimes my mind goes from one extreme to the other and I have a hard time finding a place in the middle. I find myself wanting everything or deciding I need nothing. There has to be a place in between...
I've also discovered I can't choose things like food or what I want to do because my meal choices are laid out for me (my breakfast is the same every morning and my dinner is the same four or five things over and over again). My days off are more eventful than the days I work because I'm able to go with the teams, but when I do that, I just go along and do whatever they do. Its so much fun to just go with the flow and do whatever happens or comes my way--people in the states get frustrated with me when I don't want to make decisions, I like doing what other people like to do.
I'm trying to make my mission here in the states for 12 days successful, but its hard. I'm missing everything about Haiti, the people of Haiti, and all my experiences I get to do on an almost weekly basis.
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