All in a Day
Today was one of those days where my emotions soared from really high to really low. Thursday night I recieved not so good news about my grandpa and have been feeling down since. This morning I had planned to finally get to go to the wound clinic and help there, but upon getting up, I knew I would not be effective there. I went with the majority of the team to Cite Soliel.
When we got out at our first stop I was not who I normally am when I tag along to Cite Soleil. As always, kids grabbed us the second we got off the tap tap. Rather than playing with the kids, I just stood there and held them. At that moment I was so thankful for the hugs and love even though I barely knew these kids. Eventually a jump rope was being used and a child looked at me and told me to jump. How could I say no to those eyes? I jumped a little and they laughed at me. I was loosening up and enjoying myself more. Later, a child looked at me and said "Kouri" (run). Agian, I can't say no, so I pulled out my tickling fingers and started chasing a couple of kids (which led to probably 15). These kids don't like to believe you when you get tired and tell them "Mwen fatigue". Evenutally, I couldn't go any longer and I sat down, but the kids didn't go find somewhere else, I had one on my back, four all trying to sit next to me, one on my lap and four fighting for my hands to play a hand clapping game. The love these kids have to give is incredible. I wish I could bottle up their laughs and let them out whenever I was feeling down.
We got back in the tap tap and my emotions started surfacing again. Every time there was down time my mind went straight to my grandpa and I wondered how he was at that very moment. Staring out at the sights in Haiti--too many to name, I wondered if grieving for my grandpa was selfish when these people have lost so much (including many close relatives or friends).
At the next stop I was handed an adorable baby as soon as I got off the tap tap. This baby I had held last week and was again asked to take the baby with me. I've been offered this too many times to count and can usually put it in the back of my mind. This time, with my emotions running wild, I couldn't. I said to myself that I couldn't handle being told this one more time. These parents love their children so much that they want to send them to another country so they can have a better life. A country that they themselves will never get to go to and they will most likely never see their baby again. I held this baby the whole time the water was filling buckets and interacted with a man who spoke really good English. He asked me why Americans love kids so much. I replied with not all Americans do, just the ones that come here. We come to love on the people of Haiti. He said every time Americans come the kids run up to them but they don't do that to Koreans, or Africans, or even the president. What a thought! I just assumed they ran up to every foreigner. I talked with some other guys who asked me to be the Godmother of their child, told me they loved me, and a couple of tenish year old boys told me they were crazy for me--all in a day in Haiti. As I was getting ready to head back to the tap tap the father of the baby told me he had clots and wanted to know if I could do anything for the baby. I had to say no because of the location we were in and was fighting back tears as I got back in to.
Tears began to form as I stared at the floor of the tap tap. This life is real, its not a movie, its not a play--its real. These people have no way out of this life. They have dirt floors, no electricity, no water, outdoor kitchens (if they are lucky), some have beds, some don't, and the list goes on. I mean no electricity. Don't just let that go in one ear and out the other. Think about all the uses you have for electricity. Do it right now. Now think of all the uses you have for water. What if you had no access to either of these. This is the life many of these beautiful people live every day. At that last stop I had watched with a huge smile on my face a little girl and her younger brother have a blast dumping water on each other and getting "clean" and then immediately walking barefoot through "mud" that probably wasn't just dirt and water. These kids have so much joy even though they have so little.
The last stop was by far my favorite. Again, we were bombarded by kids before we could get out of the tap tap and a group of us stood together and several of the kids started mimicing everything one of the guys in our group would say. It was so fun to watch. Since they were in a repeating mode, I took that as an awesome opportunity to lead them in the toutti ta ta song. Later we moved on to the from shower to shower song with crazy guitar na na nas. The kids loved that! Then these boys (probably 10 of them) pulled my hand and I followed and they led me to the person with the camera. We later did more of the crazy songs and did some crazy dances. I loved hearing those kids laugh--it was just the medicine I needed. The joy these Haitian people find through all their struggles is contagious. I love learning from them. I came back to the guest house with a big smile on my face and a completely different attitude than I had this morning when I left.
Tears of sorrow, loss, confusion, hurt, compassion, and pain were shed within hours of laugher and smiles of joy, happiness, friendship, love, and enjoyment. This is one of the things I love most about Haiti.
When we got out at our first stop I was not who I normally am when I tag along to Cite Soleil. As always, kids grabbed us the second we got off the tap tap. Rather than playing with the kids, I just stood there and held them. At that moment I was so thankful for the hugs and love even though I barely knew these kids. Eventually a jump rope was being used and a child looked at me and told me to jump. How could I say no to those eyes? I jumped a little and they laughed at me. I was loosening up and enjoying myself more. Later, a child looked at me and said "Kouri" (run). Agian, I can't say no, so I pulled out my tickling fingers and started chasing a couple of kids (which led to probably 15). These kids don't like to believe you when you get tired and tell them "Mwen fatigue". Evenutally, I couldn't go any longer and I sat down, but the kids didn't go find somewhere else, I had one on my back, four all trying to sit next to me, one on my lap and four fighting for my hands to play a hand clapping game. The love these kids have to give is incredible. I wish I could bottle up their laughs and let them out whenever I was feeling down.
We got back in the tap tap and my emotions started surfacing again. Every time there was down time my mind went straight to my grandpa and I wondered how he was at that very moment. Staring out at the sights in Haiti--too many to name, I wondered if grieving for my grandpa was selfish when these people have lost so much (including many close relatives or friends).
At the next stop I was handed an adorable baby as soon as I got off the tap tap. This baby I had held last week and was again asked to take the baby with me. I've been offered this too many times to count and can usually put it in the back of my mind. This time, with my emotions running wild, I couldn't. I said to myself that I couldn't handle being told this one more time. These parents love their children so much that they want to send them to another country so they can have a better life. A country that they themselves will never get to go to and they will most likely never see their baby again. I held this baby the whole time the water was filling buckets and interacted with a man who spoke really good English. He asked me why Americans love kids so much. I replied with not all Americans do, just the ones that come here. We come to love on the people of Haiti. He said every time Americans come the kids run up to them but they don't do that to Koreans, or Africans, or even the president. What a thought! I just assumed they ran up to every foreigner. I talked with some other guys who asked me to be the Godmother of their child, told me they loved me, and a couple of tenish year old boys told me they were crazy for me--all in a day in Haiti. As I was getting ready to head back to the tap tap the father of the baby told me he had clots and wanted to know if I could do anything for the baby. I had to say no because of the location we were in and was fighting back tears as I got back in to.
Tears began to form as I stared at the floor of the tap tap. This life is real, its not a movie, its not a play--its real. These people have no way out of this life. They have dirt floors, no electricity, no water, outdoor kitchens (if they are lucky), some have beds, some don't, and the list goes on. I mean no electricity. Don't just let that go in one ear and out the other. Think about all the uses you have for electricity. Do it right now. Now think of all the uses you have for water. What if you had no access to either of these. This is the life many of these beautiful people live every day. At that last stop I had watched with a huge smile on my face a little girl and her younger brother have a blast dumping water on each other and getting "clean" and then immediately walking barefoot through "mud" that probably wasn't just dirt and water. These kids have so much joy even though they have so little.
The last stop was by far my favorite. Again, we were bombarded by kids before we could get out of the tap tap and a group of us stood together and several of the kids started mimicing everything one of the guys in our group would say. It was so fun to watch. Since they were in a repeating mode, I took that as an awesome opportunity to lead them in the toutti ta ta song. Later we moved on to the from shower to shower song with crazy guitar na na nas. The kids loved that! Then these boys (probably 10 of them) pulled my hand and I followed and they led me to the person with the camera. We later did more of the crazy songs and did some crazy dances. I loved hearing those kids laugh--it was just the medicine I needed. The joy these Haitian people find through all their struggles is contagious. I love learning from them. I came back to the guest house with a big smile on my face and a completely different attitude than I had this morning when I left.
Tears of sorrow, loss, confusion, hurt, compassion, and pain were shed within hours of laugher and smiles of joy, happiness, friendship, love, and enjoyment. This is one of the things I love most about Haiti.
Comments
Post a Comment