Tori's Stories

Today was one of those days where my emotions soared from really high to really low. Thursday night I recieved not so good news about my grandpa and have been feeling down since. This morning I had planned to finally get to go to the wound clinic and help there, but upon getting up, I knew I would not be effective there. I went with the majority of the team to Cite Soliel. When we got out at our first stop I was not who I normally am when I tag along to Cite Soleil. As always, kids grabbed us the second we got off the tap tap. Rather than playing with the kids, I just stood there and held them. At that moment I was so thankful for the hugs and love even though I barely knew these kids. Eventually a jump rope was being used and a child looked at me and told me to jump. How could I say no to those eyes? I jumped a little and they laughed at me. I was loosening up and enjoying myself more. Later, a child looked at me and said "Kouri" (run). Agian, I can't say no, so I pull...

Each team that comes through has a time at night where they come up with a word that describes their day. Even if I don't participate in that sharing time I like to come up with a word to help me process my thoughts. Today, as I was coming up with my word I was struggling and decided that was my word. Life has its own set of struggles for anyone and they are different for each and every person. Here is what I'm struggling with right now. I struggle with remembering that life here isn't "normal" (what does normal even mean?) because it is what I see every day. I struggle with knowing if what I'm doing is really making a difference. I struggle with being asked everytime I go anywhere for things as simple as food or a pair of shoes. I struggle with wanting to give these items away because of the beautiful eyes staring at me asking for them, but knowing I can't. I struggle with knowing the fine line between handing out and handing up. I strug...